more porno

A study done measured effects of short-term exposure to pornographic material on the interpersonal relationships between men and women. Both men and women were exposed to films for 11 minutes, then paired into male-female groups and asked to do a problem-solving activity together. During the activity, the behavior was videotaped and analyzed. The results of analysis were

The experimenters found that men who viewed the sexually explicit films (both erotica and pornography) showed more dominant behaviors, touched their female partners for longer periods of time, and ignored their partner’s contributions more often that males who viewed the news clips. Furthermore, men in the pornography condition interrupted their partners more and showed more anxious behaviors than those in the other two groups.

The result that was a bit more worrisome was

Female participants were blind to the first portion of the experiment. Results showed that women’s behaviors correlated highly with their male partner’s behaviors. Women whose partners had viewed sexually explicit materials showed similar levels of anxiety, physical proximity, partner touch, and gazing as their partners. This behavioral matching, argue the researchers, is particularly notable. It suggests that women are affected by a partner’s use of sexually explicit material, even when they are unaware of such use.

It seems interesting here, as well, how people can have more influence than they'd imagine normally. If this is true, they would probably feel extra responsibilities in response to knowing what they could do. A simple example could be how the behavior of parents change knowing that their lives are intimately tied to their children's lives. This goes against a common myth nowadays that pornography and similar things "are ok since they doesn't hurt anyone". However, from the opinion of this one paper, it does seem like this behavior bears noticable effects the principal actor and, more importantly, the people he interacts with. It's hard to know if those effects could hurt or not.

From a Christian point of view, it offers a new dimension into what it means for a man to be the "lead" or the "head" in a relationship as well. I haven't done enough thinking and reflecting on what this might mean, but I have a few cursory thoughts on it. I've heard sermons describing this lead as a sense of responsibility for the woman's spiritual life as well as your own - this would extend and tie that responsibility not only to her's but your spiritual life as well. Pornographic effects would then also extend to interactions between platonic friends (or "brothers" and "sisters" in Christian lingo) - how would "guarding your heart" or not "being a stumbling block" change with this in perspective? Furthermore, in this study, the partners were simply college students randomly paired - for a married couple, I could imagine significant differences. I don't think I know enough about "two becoming one" to comment on this yet though.

The source for these quotations is an interesting set of articles (available here), from a conference at Princeton. I've only read two so far (Neuroplasticity and Acquiring Tastes/Loves, and Pornography's Effects on Interpersonal Relationships), but they're interesting, and they flesh out a lot of points I heard brought up back in my last post on the "Price of Pleasure" pornography documentary.

a peek into my manga

Since I'm pretty bored this winter break (having no immediate work to do and all), I've been reading and re-reading a lot of manga. A list of a few of my favorites that I've read over the last year for anyone that cares, along with a one-line synopsis/spoiler and review.

"best overall"

1. Emma.
   
   synopsis: the manga follows a frowned-upon Victorian romance (set around the time of the industrial revolution) between a noble and a maid.
   
   this is one of the few series for which I'd recommend the anime as much as (or more than) the manga. The reason for this is that the anime forces the viewer to progress at its pace; calmly, slowly, but deliberately. It's a much quieter, refined romance novel than the chick-flick-esque shojo romances that litter most manga bookshelves today. not only that, the drawings of London's cities are fantastic, and a fair amount of attention is paid to the actual historical details of the culture and traditions of the time. Last but not least, the romance between the characters fits in as the last piece of the whole puzzle. an excellent read.
   
   
2. koukou debut.
   
   synposis: super-enthusiastic girl tries to find a boyfriend and discover what its like to have a relationship.
   
   this goes under the "i am embarrassed to read" category too. however, I liked it enough to put it as one of my favorites. it's a romance manga, and yes, its target audience is probably something like the teenage girl crowd. HOWEVER, the group of people that would enjoy this series goes far beyond adolescent females. it manages to pull off both laughs (and i kid you not, this has some very witty and perfectly-timed comedic scenes) and tears (and there's a fair share of touching moments here too) in a way that moves me even as I re-read it.
   
   this also makes this "best overall" list because one scene was good enough to inspire me to write and record a song off of it. read away =P it's not too many chapters in.
   
   
3. yokohama kaidashi kikou
   
   synopsis: this manga follows the day-to-day lives of Alpha, a female robot who runs a coffee shop in a futuristic world, and the friends that she makes as the story progresses.
   
   this is one of the few slice of life mangas that I really got into and didn't just read to pass time. in case you don't know, slice of life mangas present the ordinary lives of ordinary people. this one is interesting - the setting is post-apocalyptic, but the manga is incredibly uplifting in a quiet type of way. the atmosphere about the characters and setting is a quiet, serene optimism, like a futuristic countryside. unlike a lot of poorly-written mangas that make you feel sick after going through a few chapters, this one is a great, calming, and charming series that leaves the reader feeling like they haven't wasted the last few hours staring at a computer screen.
   
   
4. eyeshield 21
   
   synopsis: a high school boy whose sole outstanding skill is running away joins an american football team of misfits that goes from underdog to champion status.
   
   to me, this is the best sports manga out there. it falls into some sports manga cliches, but overall, the manga is not just about the lead character. it really builds and draws you into the whole team, and even the different teams of the whole country as the story unfolds. plus, it's about american football. how cool is that?
   
   
5. angel densetsu
   
   synopsis: a boy with a heart of gold has the scariest face ever, and ends up inadvertently (and unknowingly) becoming the head thug of his school.
   
   hilar. absolutely hilarious at times. do not let the crappy art in this manga scare you off. sure, it looks weird, but the scenery is actually incredible (and the guy who drew this later draws "Claymore"). this is one of the most amusing mangas I've ever read. sure, the entire series is based off of one gag, but in the early chapters, the novel of that gag is hilarious, while later, there is actually good character development and progression in the story.
   
   
   
   
6. yankee-kun to megane chan
   
   synopsis: ex-delinquent girl wants to become a model class representative, enlisting the help of a less-academically inclined boy delinquent. he is dragged along as she helps various people in the school.
   
   this one's interesting. I can't really categorize this into a genre comfortably, and its lead character is really unique in a lot of ways. It actually took me a while to get used to the fact that the main character girl, though she looks smart, is quite the idiot =P. a very funny series that's not too light, not too heavy.
   
   
   
7. hajime no ippo
   
   synopsis: kid learns to box and fights in lots of matches. pretty simple.
   
   if you think Naruto or Bleach or One Piece have gone on too long, look at this one and reconsider. at over 800 chapters, this is longest running manga ever, and for good reason. it's great! with Naruto/Bleach/One Piece, while characters may get stronger and learn new things, the fights and stories typically remain about the same (hero fights, gets beaten up, soul searches, finds new strength and wins). however, hajime no ippo's storyline - while it may seem the fights follow the same sort of progression - is much more developed and well-written than most sports or fighting mangas. a long but good series with very human yet very admirable characters.
   
   
   
   
   

"mangas I really like but am kind of embarrassed to have read"

1. midori days
   
   the guys girlfriend is literally his right hand. more specifically, on his right hand like a hand puppet, with her soul transplanted there from a comatose body by some cause that's never explained. though he's aggravated at first, she grows on him (haha pun intended). it's weird, but a fun and (at times) a fairly touching manga.
   
   
2. umi no misaki
   
   apart from some (very blatant) pages of fanservice in each chapter, there is actually a fairly nice story to this manga in the first few chapters (though it's beginning to seem too much like a harem manga now =\). a cute story involving an isolated island's tradition, religion, and the people that grew up in it.
   
   
3. one piece, fairy tail
   
   these have got to be the two most amusing and entertaining action mangas I've seen. I really like the art this guy does, and the stories are really moving to read, though I feel like a little kid after I'm done reading them.
   
   
4. bleach, naruto
   
   I feel like the equivalent of an indie snob with manga - if it's really popular with a lot of people, I start to lose interest. Or maybe it's just that I've followed these two mangas for so long without seeing much real development that I'm getting tired of them. I still can't give them up without finishing their story though. I'm sure you all know the stories behind these two already.
   
   

reflections on home

First of all, I changed the format. this is still the same blog, but my entries became too long lengthwise, so I made the margins wider.

to go along with Henry and Peter, I've been giving home and parents a lot of thought. it's really nice to be home - living basically alone in a new city without a real solid social group has made me appreciate the company of family a lot. but even more importantly, like Henry, I feel I've grown to appreciate everything my parents have done a whole lot more. Unlike most of my friends, I don't have college loans - because of them. I've had opportunities to develop my interests in a whole bunch of different areas - because they paid for lessons, drove me places, bought me equipment when I needed.

Interestingly enough, even though they don't go to church, I feel they've taught me a lot about life, which in turn has made me reflect on my own theological thinking and worldview. They were always more realists and pragmatists than I, and they always seemed to have an appreciation for how complex the world was. As I move away somewhat from the simplified, idealistic view of my childhood (and half of my college years), I'm beginning to appreciate how they adapt to changes and are flexible.

I like having an idealistic, grand goal - college graduation, a PhD - but my mom and dad remind me that the job market requires more than just pure credentials, that there's a lot more to living than simply focusing on one thing. Missionaries speak of a similar thing; God's purpose may be one thing, but letting their mission work dominate their lives seems to be a common struggle. There's family, your hobbies, interests, etc - things to do and places to see that might not have anything to do with achieving a goal, ends, or purpose. It's hard to describe, but I get the feeling that life isn't just the straightforward quest I thought it was, where I discover God's purpose and am driven by it for the rest of my life like some adventure story or manga. Things are more integrated than that - there's the excitement of a goal, but also times of aimlessness. Clarity, but more often clouded messages. In every heart, sin, but also good.

It's been good to be home, but I constantly worry about when i'll go back. I like it here; it's comfortable, we're happy, and I feel much more stable than I was in Austin. Yet, there's always an unsettling fear - I leave in 2 weeks, but what about after that? Before I go to bed, I worry how I'll deal with my parents aging, with the idea that someday, they'll leave me too? I've never had a fraternity, and though I have close friends, they're not family - nobody can replace family. It was so difficult to have just a 1-month relationship removed suddenly; if any of the family I've known for years and years leave, how will I ever deal with that then?

I hope that someday I'll start my own family, build my own house and memories and close relationships like this. But until then, I'm scared that someday, I won't have a place to come home to.

America's Christians in Newsweek reactions

I think something is very strange in America. Granted, I think a lot of things about America are very strange, but recent reactions over the Newsweek article on gay marriage have made me concerned about a few things. To say there has been a torrential wave of angry letters and defensive responses to Lisa Miller's article on gay marriage would be somewhat of an overstatement. However, I've yet to see a single response to any of Lisa Miller or Sharon Begley's articles concerning skepticism, and naturalistic materialism.

I found an article in Newsweek called "Why We Believe", where belief in the paranormal is explained in a naturalistic fashion through evolutionary processes. While it doesn't directly claim God's existence as false, the article (and other similar ones by the same authors) imply religious beliefs are motivated by similar evolutionary processes. Arguments like these are used by Dawkins, Dennett, Hitchens, Harris and others to argue that, since belief in God is explained away by evolution, the denial of the existence of God is bolstered and believers are idiots.

Yes, Christians take time to respond to Dawkins and Co., but in their case, they were, in a lot of ways, asking/baiting/challenging for a response. Or, at least, they were making direct attacks on all of Christianity and its representatives. If Christian belief can be defined broadly to be a belief in Jesus as son of God (which still leaves room for some liberal Christian theology), then neither naturalistic materialism nor gay marriage directly attacks Christians in the same sense that the New Atheism does.

However, it seems that it's possible to reconcile belief both in Jesus as resurrected and in the gay marriage. It seems a little more of a stretch for most people to believe both that God exists and that nothing exists apart from matter (which a stronger form of materialism, now popular cultural thought, advocates). From a different angle, many pro-gay rights activists do not object to Jesus and the idea of God but to the way churchgoers interpret the life of Jesus and its supporting documents of Scripture, while more secularists, naturalistic materialists, and skeptics object to the idea of God itself, let alone Jesus as resurrected God.

Does it seem kind of strange here? It's almost as if American Christians are more interested in defending their interpretation of a specific doctrine than they are of defending the existence of God. Perhaps they believe the intellectual denial of the existence of God isn't a serious issue (though the past two popes have deemed it a matter of high importance), or that Dawkins and Co. can simply be dismissed as lunatics who won't make a difference (though they have garnered a large number of active supporters). Either way, it seems as if American Christians are missing a huge point here.

I hope nobody takes this as anti-scientific or pro-paranormal, or even anti-naturalistic. If naturalistic causes don't determine the way the material cards fall, mathematical modelers have built their careers (and my current education) on shaky theory. In addition to this, there is a lot of iffy thought built on the Greek notion of mind-body dualism (such as an immaterial heaven and a ghostly immaterial soul), while a more materialistic view of the world may actually give a reason for a Biblically-endorsed physical resurrection (see Malcolm Jeeves). Neither am I saying gay marriage is not a worthwhile point to respond to (especially considering the iffy way Lisa Miller quotes the Bible).

The point is that, even though gay marriage may not be biblical, that's more of a debatable point, and not central to Christian theology, whereas "God does not exist" might be a little more directly contradictory to any confessing Christian's views. Yet, responses from Christians in America to the first point drown out responses to the second.

I'm beginning to understand Mark Noll's beef with the development of evangelical thought in America now (see post on "Scandal of the Evangelical Mind"). Returning to the Newsweek articles, I get the feeling that American Christians would argue about gay marriage to the expensive of thinking heavily about an article that claims belief in God is explainable away by evolution. I get the impression that the lack of Christian reflection on the second point is a grave mistake, seeing that it is rapidly characterizing popular thought in America. It's not a stretch to imagine this fomenting a more atheistic trend of thinking in generations to come.

This was sort of a rant and spur of the moment thing, and I apologize if I don't make much sense (I'll clarify if I can). A more well-thought blog post is to come later, hopefully relating this to the larger problem of a lack of evangelical thinking on issues that influence culture in America.

bills

I am fairly worried about my future now. Apart from the obvious worries of "how will I find a job" and "where will I end up living" (I guess "will I ever get married" is a question up there as well), I am now worried about "how will I keep track of things". I'm able to keep organized short term, but in terms of long term records and keeping track of things that don't immediately concern me, I am really bad.

Case in point - after moving around from Houston to Fountain Valley, CA and then to Austin, I have a bunch of mail arriving at all these different places. Since I hadn't been to either other address in ages (and that I didn't forward all my mail to Austin), I found out I've had two outstanding debts that I hadn't paid lingering around since the start of the semester. For both, I have sent checks in - one apparently bounced, the other was apparently ignored by the company. I'm beginning to wonder if companies even use emails to contact people at all.

Time to buy a file cabinet and start trying to stay organized. Geez, I don't even know where my social security card is right now.

Christmas song

Hi guys, here's a song I wrote for the Christmas season inspired by a good read =) hope you enjoy it. I'm still learning how to sing jazz, so it's kinda weird at times, but I hope you all like it

Our Christmas

Staying outside in the cold
Has never felt
So comfortable before
We're trying to keep warm
With arms intertwined
And my hands in yours

Huddled with two in one coat
The warmth of your laughter
On my frozen nose
And I could swear that you glow
The way that your eyes smile
As I hold you close

Snowflakes drift down to the bench where we sit
In the park by your house where we spent our first Christmas with
Cold cheeks and cold fingertips
And only the faint warmth
Of breath from your lips

On mine, your head turns towards mine
Searching for me through the hair
That covers your eyes
It's strange, I'm being drawn in
And I can't resist,
Or I don't want to try

Too late, no time to think twice
Now that your lips have somehow come
So close to mine
So I breathe in and close my eyes
Knowing you've closed them too
On this cold winter night

If you want to hear the rough recording, it's on youtube now under Our Christmas. Quality is terrible for some reason, so I put an mp3 up on my old site. An extra update as well - I re-recorded Things About You. Unfortunately, in both recordings, the room I recorded in was very reverby and didn't give very professional vocal sounds.

updates

I have recently noticed signs that I may be identifying reality with my mathematics coursework a bit too much. A few signs (I'll post more as life goes on)

1. A friend and I talk about Christ's coming (both into our lives and physically into this world) changes and redefines everything, or redeems everything. I make the analogy: just like the way our understanding of R^n is changed completely and fleshed out by general topology.
   
2. I see a picture of 3 Taco Bell hot sauce packages, one hot, one fire, one hot, in that order. HFH if you might. For some odd reason, this strikes me as a finite-dimensional projection of Fire onto the Hot (I guess I assumed the second H was transposed by mistake).
3. There is a joke going around the office (related to me somehow) about "compact support" girl. Support in this case has to do with the idea of a woman's chest support. Compact support is a mathematical concept describing basis functions.
   

And on and on. A lot of these happened tonight, where I attended an Episcopalean friend's church event - Theology on Tap. The topic of the evening - some very excellent Pinot Noir and the Advent. It was neat to see into a whole different world - I'm slowly learning of the differences between American evangelicals and other world churches.

In other words, I have now had an (almost) complete home recording studio set up in my room.
Here's a little glimpse of the whole thing (minus the studio monitors that are on my desk). I never imaged home studios would be such a mess. However, I have gotten some good recording done...so just you wait! The next CD will be coming out soon. And it will (God willing I finish recording this song by December) the most romantic Christmas song you've ever heard in your entire life.

Yes, I also may have a few too many guitars lying around.


I'd also like to welcome the newest members of the Chan guitar family - meet PRS and Danelectro (who have yet to recieve actual names).

On the left here is PRS - recently acquired on my last trip down to Houston. I started recording with it, and it does great both for pop-rock (Things about you) and jazz (that romantic Christmas song I mentioned). It's a semi-hollowbody, but with a smaller cavity than most guitars, so it proves very versatile.



On the right is a much more interesting case. I actually had a friend in high school give this guitar to me after finding it at a garage sale. He had gotten it for free. I'd like to say it's a priceless relic, but it turns out it's a fairly cheap guitar pricewise (only $300ish). What's odd about it is that it's made out of masonite and cheap particle board. However, it has somewhat of a cult following because it sounds amazing and nobody knew why! Turns out, it's also a semi-hollowbody, and the pickups are unique, but the great sound is still somewhat of a mystery. Ladies and gentlemen, the Danelectro U2 Reissue

More to come later. Last day of classes tomorrow means I hopefully have some more time to reflect and post on more enriching topics.