I miss talking to people. I just finished a great book (The Unlikely Disciple) that made me really think about a few things, and thought that I would love to talk about it with people. But I realize that out of all the people I know in Austin, I can only think of a few that I would feel comfortable discussing something like this with (and two of them went to Rice).
Not that what I want to talk about is especially personal or anything - I just don't think I know the people as well, and thus don't feel as at home talking to them about anything. The people at work are not usually interested in discussing things like this, and I am kind of surprised to find that when I think about it, I've never really had even a moderately in-depth one-on-one conversation with most of my friends from church.
I'm not convinced this is completely an isolated case, either. I used to wonder why Rice relationships seemed so magical - could it just be that Rice students spent lots of time together? Post-college, and even in a larger college town, the compartmentalization of different life areas kind of takes its toll. I have work friends (with whom I can party), church friends (that I only see once a week), and outside friends (whom I seriously need to talk with more). No particularly strong relationship built on memories and shared experiences with the church friends; no particularly deep connection to the work friends.
I'm looking forward to going back to Houston and seeing friends, but I feel like I've spent much time immersed in Austin (with little to show for it relationally), and have lost regular contact with most friends in Houston. I've got a 10-year time capsule reunion with old high school friends, and a host of Rice friends to see again. I don't think I've been a particularly good friend to either group in the time I've been apart, but I hope I can start again this weekend.
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5 comments:
post-college interactions - fellowship, even, if I might be so bold - are tough. Despite still sticking around Yale, even working at my college fellowship, I've had to learn what sort of vulnerability different relationships can withstand.
and actually, in the last week, I've been increasingly realizing that, as much as friends can be incredible sources of comfort and advice, ultimately... there's only one Place from which all really good advice springs. because, in the end, it's Him to whom we can turn to for certainty - security - hope.
not to get preachy or nothing, but just that what you said resonates with some things that i've been going thru.
At UT I only knew a handful of people with whom I could really talk about my deepest thoughts, and I married one of them. :o)
I've always thought of myself as a quality over quantity kind of guy, even in friendships, which might explain why I have about 20% as many facebook friends as the average person. Although I'm sure my introversion has something to do with it as well.
I hope you end up building better relationships in Austin, and I can vouch for how difficult it can be at times at such a huge school as UT. Without sounding angsty, I've often felt that I enjoy talking to myself on my blog more than engaging in thin chit-chat that often makes me feel more lonely than actually being alone.
Yeah, I experienced a lot of the same things last year, and to a certain extent still do. That said, relationships are pretty important to me, and I've been able to form fairly strong friendships here (see, e.g., commenter above me).
Along the lines of relationships being important to me, if you ever wanna talk, either in a very serious way or in a more lighthearted way, always feel free to call or Skype me. I know its not the same as someone physically being there, but it has helped me with loneliness in the past. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's keeping open the lines of communication.
"But I realize that out of all the people I know in Austin, I can only think of a few that I would feel comfortable discussing something like this with."
For me, this sentiment is turned completely around. I would be very happy if I had "a few" people up here I would feel comfortable discussing deep things with. So don't feel lonely =) At least, I think there are better things to possibly feel.
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