safe

I find I'm writing songs again. They're much different than the ones I used to write. In retrospect, I think those old songs were meant most of all to elicit a certain type of reaction and response (from girls), and to have them think I was a certain type of guy. Granted, I believed that was who I was, but I think I tried extra hard to show everyone else I was the shy, romantic, slightly nerdy, super enthusiastic type of guy.

These new ones seem different. When I wrote my old songs, I wrote them in a lighter mood that could be described as daydreaming, imagining scenarios that I would base a song off of. These new ones seem a heavier; maybe just a little less light. For example, I wrote about a first kiss - a little less creative than my previous songs about girls, but probably a little more mature in content as well.

I also started writing a song "Safe" - the words just sort of came out on their own, and I never imagined writing a song like this about being safe due to distance in my relationships with others. I never used to be scared of meeting people, of new relationships, and while I don't think I'm opposed to them now, I definitely have found myself more reserved and careful. Part of this is leaving college, I think; part of it is a change in my own personality. I feel more reserved, more cautious, and I don't think it's as easy for me to just be vulnerable and open with just anyone anymore.

Like the comic says, right? Love grants someone else power over you, and we never trust anyone as easily as we do the first time.